One week, I’m a fiery prayer warrior and it seems like an extended exhilaration, from going to church to calling people to encourage them. Then, in the span of one week – kaput! I got the flu, which wasn’t the downer, but over the course of just a few days, I felt numb to the work and wonder of what God was doing all around me. —> dangerous ground!
It started with pride. One small incident of misunderstanding and it snowballed into a series of silent offences in my mind. Thankfully, that shield of emptiness was cracked open. Here is what I learned about how to kill pride:
1. Thankfulness. It’s almost impossible to be thankful to God without practicing humility and meekness in my heart. I looked up a short definition of being humble. It means to be lowly, unpretentious, without pride. I had to race to thankfulness for the little things, the familiar and customary, the expected and mundane. Praise God for the stability that we have in Him. He never goes numb! (see Philippians 4:6, KJV)
2. Repentance. I don’t like this word. It means I’ve done something wrong. And I have. (not my favorite part). This numbness is not from God. He is a passionate, energetic, yet unchanging and holy One. I’ve done a lot of coping with avoiding how to “feel.” Emotions made me uncomfortable. I eventually learned that it was just fear, in many forms, interrupting my well-being at many times in my life. Repentance “gives space” to the confession to that state of being and thinking. Lord, please don’t shut it off. We need to feel. We need to love. (see I John 1:9 and I John 4:19, KJV)
3. Service. The numbness implodes on itself when I’m trying so hard to protect my own interests. Reaching out and loving people under God’s guidance is a sure way to get me to feel something again. A body that is in motion tends to stay in motion. Also, the biochemical reactions in the brain and body from getting up to do something for God are very real. It actually turned out to be a way of balancing my life again. (see Proverbs 16:3 and I Corinthians 15:58 KJV)
**Okay, so the irony in the post is that it’s titled, “3 Ways I Killed Pride,” which, some of you nitpickers (ahem, detail-oriented) folks would point out using “I” is the loony pride example. So I’ll admit that I, myself, didn’t kill it. The Holy Spirit guided me through the process to identify and then annihilate it! (see Proverbs 16:18 KJV).
I pray you feel something today. If it’s heaviness, please give it to the Lord to carry it for you. If it’s joy, please share it with someone! Cheering you on!